At 51 years old, I am in a pretty terrific place in my life. I've built a successful real estate business with my amazing wife. We own several properties together including a beach house that we don't rent. We've got two terrific kids. I drive a cool car that I love. Most would consider me successful on many levels. I also consider myself successful as I am super happy with where I am and how I got here. And yet, some would mistakenly attribute my life to things that have had little or no impact on it. Ironically, most of those people have not achieved a level of success and happiness in their own lives to be able to speak credibly on the topic. They are too busy making excuses for their own lack of achievement to actually do what it takes to get where they claim to want to go. When viewing another's success, instead of seeing a role model, they focus on whatever perceived advantages the other person has that they do not. Now don't get me wrong, I've definitely had some advantages. I'm smart. I have a pretty good sense of humor. I work hard and I have drive. I was raised right by my grandmother, lovingly known to so many as "Grama." My advantages also came with some disadvantages. I was raised by my Grama because my mother had me at 17 and wasn't around so much when I was growing up. I don't know my dad at all. I guess the statistics would say that this probably contributed to some of my bad behavior as a youth. I definitely didn't come from money and I'm not particularly tall, dark, or handsome. I'm more short, pale and funny. Hey, you can't have it all!
In my adult life, I've also had some challenges. I joined the Marine Corps at 18 and served in Desert Storm. I didn't realize it at the time, but I definitely had a bit of PTSD coming home that contributed to me dropping out of college. I broke my neck ten years ago and instantly went from being a physically fit 41 year old, to feeling about 100 or so. One of the perks of that ordeal is that while most of you have been getting older for the last 10 years, I've been getting functionally younger as my recovery has progressed. You may have noticed that I try to see the positive in most everything. Having a great attitude is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. I think that our success and happiness in life is primarily controlled by three things, our attitude, work ethic, and our expectation of success. The great news is that these are all things you can control in your own life! Let's take a quick look at these three one by one. Attitude- this is probably the most important of all. If you chose to keep a great attitude no matter the circumstances, you are almost assured to be a happier person. Controlling your attitude can be tough. Sometimes life throws negative things at you that are hard to overlook. Focussing on the things that make you happy, keeping yourself busy, doing physical things like cutting the grass or going for a walk will help you keep a positive attitude. And for a next level attitude adjustment, just do a cartwheel. Seriously. But attitude alone won't get you through your goals. For that you'll also need a strong Work Ethic. This is the one thing you can easily control. If you outwork 90% of the people around you, you will soon be paid in the top 10% of your field. Not that money is everything, it just makes everything easier. Set aside time to do your most important work first when planning your days and weeks. How do you know what's most important? Ask yourself Gary Keller's focusing question: "What's The One Thing I can do right now, such that by doing it will make all other things easier or unnecessary?" Figure that out and get to work on it immediately. Finally, you'll need an Expectation of Success to have any chance of actually succeeding. I can prove it to you very quickly. Given whatever advantages you think I've had, do you really think I could have built a successful business or marriage if I had an expectation of failure? Take away all of my challenges, clear the path for me completely, and without a positive expectation, I could still never get anything other than negative results. Henry Ford said it best, "If you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." So when you're looking at someone else and thinking that they can do it but you can't you've already lost. STOP DOING THAT IMMEDIATELY. Sure, you may not have the same advantages I've had, but we've had different challenges too. Would you really trade your deal for mine??? Would your life and path be easier if you woke up everyday in pain from the bolts in your neck? Would things be easier for you, living my life, even if it meant you'd never be strong enough to run again? Would it be worth having all of my advantages if it meant you'd be 5' 7" as part of the deal? Here's the kicker, there are tons of people out there who'd take my deal in a minute. People with far bigger challenges than I'll ever know, God willing. And there are people all around you, everyday who'd take your deal too. If you keep your eyes open, they're not hard to see. I may be one of them! If I could be healthy, strong, and pain free, (maybe even tall, dark and handsome!) that could be pretty tempting. I'm not sure my life would be any easier, I already think it's pretty easy. Because I've learned to focus on those three things. I suggest you do the same.
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